Autumn leaf

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I woke up early.
I tasted the smell of autumn leaves under my feet.
I felt the strength but also the weakness of a new day in the air.
Breath in breath out.

Opening my e-mail.
13 new bands that are interested in my helping them out in different ways.
This thing might really work!
I just have to organize some more.
Find the time, the love and the focus.

I know I'm completely alone, more alone then ever today, although I'm surrounded by the best of friends and though we are now 2 persons in my company.

It's ok.

Oh.
I went to a movie yesterday.

Patrik 1.5

It was like opening a window to my past.
The dreams I had.
The words I were exposed to.

I have a huge huuuuge longing to take care of lost persons.
Lonely and disjointed persons.
I spent years doing this.

In this movie though, it worked.
The persons involved were fragile, but not broken.
Strong but sad.
I still wanna go there one day.
With my new insights.

I will teach. Eventually.
I will build a place for hungry souls. Abroad or in Sweden.
I need to feed dying plants before they fade, before they turn into werewolves and can no longer be kept safe. Someday.

But not today. I am still not finished.
I still have to fall apart, let go of the leafs on my branches and learn what's inside.
I still have a gap that I have to rebuild, so no one else can find it and fill it with crap and dirt.
But I'm on my way.
I'm on my way.

I see myself.